The only reason why

I haven't cried in months

Is that I have a special cat.

He has a raccoon's tail

And fur under his paws

To protect him from the snow.

He's named after two kings.

When I come home

He falls asleep in my lap.

Oxytocin is keeping me sane

Through heartbreak,

Homesickness

And shame.

If somebody loved me

I would have to remember

To shave,

I would have to avoid

Making babies

And I would soon worry

About all those problems

That couples have.

I remember those

All too well,

And yet

This haughty solitude

Verily stinks.