I order a yoga mat.

I forget about it,

And get excited when I see a new e-mail.

It’s just the auto-confirm message

From Amazon.

Today I checked my gmail account

Three hundred times

Hoping in somebody’s cheerful words,

Anybody’s.

I haven’t felt this lonely in years 

But I just forget.

I must have been far more lonely than this

In the past.

And survived.

How?

It’s never pretty.

I do

and say

things I will regret

When my brain works again.

I want to get small

Like a wooden doll

And sleep peacefully inside my maker’s hand.