If you can write a good love letter

I will elope with you.

Lately I’ve been watching

British TV dramas

Set in Victorian England

Which almost invariably

Make me cry,

How pathetic.

My horse doesn’t trust me at all

He bolts every time I ride him

And I’m starting to think

I should let him go.

Right now what I need

Is a passionate kiss,

Which would involve

Considerable groundwork:

A thorough but casual 

Display of my charms

A quick survey

Of my traumatic childhood

Finished off by one

Of my funny anecdotes,

But you don’t really exist,

Do you?

I have a tiny orange cat

And a beautiful

White Arabian horse.

Soft eyes and

Warm fur to 

Calm me down.

I won’t be needy

When someone

Comes around. 

If I ever 

Go on a date

I will casually

Watch

His facial expressions,

Trying to guess if a delayed laughter

Is a sign of boredom

Or nervousness. 

I won’t just PLAY it cool

I will not be needy,

I promise!

Because that is the utmost sin.

Women think I eat men for breakfast,

But no! I’m mostly vegan these days

And I want to want to want to be good.

At Trader Joe’s 

A guy who works there

Told me he loved my white frames.

 - I can hardly pull my black ones off,

 I can’t stop staring at you!

At check out

The red-haired cashier

Asked me what I’m doing

This weekend.

I told him all about my white equine

While he was scanning my veggies.

He seemed impressed.

I don’t know why

Men seem to want me

Now.

What changed?

Is it my ruffled mane?

The smell of dust and sweat?

The farmer’s tan?

Can they tell that

I’m toughening up?

Wait till I bleach my hair

White.